Doctor’s Office Game Show
Written by Donovan L. Green,
11/22/2009 10:29 AM
I have never cared much for doctors and their offices, I think most men don’t. I would guess that the answers from the spouses as to why most men do not like going to see the doctor would generally be the same. I would also guess that the answer from most men would be the same as well, which would generally seem like excuses for something which they do not have an answer for. I for one had never given it much thought although some of my excuses were giving me some clues.
When I think about the reasons a person would have for having a “family” doctor and going regularly for “checkups” it all makes sense. Eventually, no matter how much we resists, we all end up in a doctor’s office so why do we resists so adamantly? We wait until our backs are against the wall and whatever it is bothering us is persisting much longer than normal, then the wife gives a good shove from behind. My recent illness was just like this. Now that I am back to a hundred percent and I know that illness wasn’t the one, I have had time to reflect on my experience.
In all I made seven trips to one doctor’s office or another with the same set of painful symptoms persisting and becoming worse. Here is what the problem was; I was caught in the Doctor’s Office game show. This is going to sound like a television show, but I assure you this is everyday real life. I know everyone doesn’t feel the same as I do and I know that at the end of reading this every one isn’t going to see it the same as I do, but all in all the routine is the same rather anyone else wants to admit it or not. And if your one of the lucky few, if there are a lucky few, that feels like your doctor and your situation is not like this, it’s probably because you haven’t given it much thought.
Each doctor office has a “waiting” area for the general population. This is like the pool of possible questions that the doctor will need to answer to move on to the next round. The questions are picked like numbered ping pong balls in bingo. You’re sitting in the waiting area with 15 other questions waiting to be called. The game assistant on the other side of the wall opens the gate on the bingo cage and a ping pong ball with a number on it falls into the chute. She steps through the door and calls the name and we all look up to see who is next. From here, we the question, have entered the live game stage and are sent to one of half a dozen small examining rooms to wait for the game contestant to enter.
The game contestant is of course the doctor. The doctor arrives in the morning with a clean slate and ready to see if he can win enough rounds to move up. The rules are simple, answer as many questions within the allotted time to win points (money). Each examination room contains and interactive question that the doctor must try to answer within the five minutes time allowed for each question, if he takes more than the five minutes on a question, then the contestant has that much less time for the next question. Questions are worth 50 points ($) with each round possibly containing a bonus question worth a 100 points ($$). A round is when questions in each of the six rooms have been successfully answered.
There are three options the contestant has to successfully answer each question. The contestant must choose the best option for each question to get the maximum number of points allowed for each particular question. The contestant must achieve the point ($$$$) goal at the end of the first set of rounds to move on to the next challenge ($$$$$$). So here’s how the contestant plays the game.
The contestant enters one of the examination rooms and the five minute timer begins. First the contestant tries to determine if this will be at least a two part question that allowing for future points from the same question. The routine is standard, the doctor gets five clues to guess the answer. The doctor submits his answer with certainty and authority, the last thing the doctor wants is to go over the five minute time limit. When the doctor goes “hmmm” the wheels are turning on how best to play the game. The doctor knows he probably has you for one more round in two weeks, but the goal is one week follow up and then to keep scheduling recurring visits, you know, just to “keep an eye on your progress”.
Points are allotted for:
- speed of answering the question with the fewest number of clues.
- Number of tests just to make sure the answer is correct
- Urgency of follow up visit
- Recurrence visits
- Medications prescribed
- How happy the question is when leaving
I have long ago dropped out of the Doctor’s office Gameshow.