Doctor’s Office Game Show

Doctor’s Office Game Show
Written by Donovan L. Green,
11/22/2009 10:29 AM

I have never cared much for doctors and their offices, I think most men don’t. I would guess that the answers from the spouses as to why most men do not like going to see the doctor would generally be the same. I would also guess that the answer from most men would be the same as well, which would generally seem like excuses for something which they do not have an answer for. I for one had never given it much thought although some of my excuses were giving me some clues.

When I think about the reasons a person would have for having a “family” doctor and going regularly for “checkups” it all makes sense. Eventually, no matter how much we resists, we all end up in a doctor’s office so why do we resists so adamantly? We wait until our backs are against the wall and whatever it is bothering us is persisting much longer than normal, then the wife gives a good shove from behind. My recent illness was just like this. Now that I am back to a hundred percent and I know that illness wasn’t the one, I have had time to reflect on my experience.

In all I made seven trips to one doctor’s office or another with the same set of painful symptoms persisting and becoming worse. Here is what the problem was; I was caught in the Doctor’s Office game show. This is going to sound like a television show, but I assure you this is everyday real life. I know everyone doesn’t feel the same as I do and I know that at the end of reading this every one isn’t going to see it the same as I do, but all in all the routine is the same rather anyone else wants to admit it or not. And if your one of the lucky few, if there are a lucky few, that feels like your doctor and your situation is not like this, it’s probably because you haven’t given it much thought.

Each doctor office has a “waiting” area for the general population. This is like the pool of possible questions that the doctor will need to answer to move on to the next round. The questions are picked like numbered ping pong balls in bingo. You’re sitting in the waiting area with 15 other questions waiting to be called. The game assistant on the other side of the wall opens the gate on the bingo cage and a ping pong ball with a number on it falls into the chute. She steps through the door and calls the name and we all look up to see who is next. From here, we the question, have entered the live game stage and are sent to one of half a dozen small examining rooms to wait for the game contestant to enter.

The game contestant is of course the doctor. The doctor arrives in the morning with a clean slate and ready to see if he can win enough rounds to move up. The rules are simple, answer as many questions within the allotted time to win points (money). Each examination room contains and interactive question that the doctor must try to answer within the five minutes time allowed for each question, if he takes more than the five minutes on a question, then the contestant has that much less time for the next question. Questions are worth 50 points ($) with each round possibly containing a bonus question worth a 100 points ($$). A round is when questions in each of the six rooms have been successfully answered.

There are three options the contestant has to successfully answer each question. The contestant must choose the best option for each question to get the maximum number of points allowed for each particular question. The contestant must achieve the point ($$$$) goal at the end of the first set of rounds to move on to the next challenge ($$$$$$). So here’s how the contestant plays the game.

The contestant enters one of the examination rooms and the five minute timer begins. First the contestant tries to determine if this will be at least a two part question that allowing for future points from the same question. The routine is standard, the doctor gets five clues to guess the answer. The doctor submits his answer with certainty and authority, the last thing the doctor wants is to go over the five minute time limit. When the doctor goes “hmmm” the wheels are turning on how best to play the game. The doctor knows he probably has you for one more round in two weeks, but the goal is one week follow up and then to keep scheduling recurring visits, you know, just to “keep an eye on your progress”.

Points are allotted for:

  • speed of answering the question with the fewest number of clues.
  • Number of tests just to make sure the answer is correct
  • Urgency of follow up visit
  • Recurrence visits
  • Medications prescribed
  • How happy the question is when leaving

I have long ago dropped out of the Doctor’s office Gameshow.

One Sheep Two Sheep No Sleep

One Sheep Two Sheep No Sleep

Written by Donovan L. Green,
11/12/2009 2:31 AM

One sheep two sheep no sleep
Jaun sleep you sleep no sheep
Three sheep four sheep no sleep
Green sheep poor sleep no sheep

One sheet two sheet three sheet
Jaun sleep you sleep we sleep
Three sheet two sheet one sheet
Green sheet poor sheet no sleep

Five sheep six sheep no sleep
My sleep sick sleep no sheep
Seven sheep eight sheep no sleep
Melvin sleep hate sleep no sheep

One sheet two sheet go sleep
No sheet two sheep no sleep
One sheep two sheep no sheet
No sheet no sheet no sleep

No sheet cover my feet no sleep
 

I Bore the Shallow

I Bore the Shallow
Written by Donovan L. Green,
11/4/2009 10:26 PM

I bore the shallow.
I am bored by the shallow.
I think not of those that think not.
Those that think not think not of me.
I don’t think the thought of those that think not.
As those that think not think not the thought that I taught.

 That I ought not think, I thought I taught the thought that I thought ought not be taught.
Instead, I sought the thought that ought not be taught to think not.
My soul is slaught to think the thought that ought not be sought.
I did not fought the lot that sought
I did not sought the lot that fought.
And to the lot that ought not be sought
The thought that ought not be taught
I fault the salt that not basalt
The gault that halts the thoughts
Of the waltz that stalls the faults of the plots
Not that I sought the plot of the not
But, I ought to hope not to the fault of the ought not
That I ought not hope to the fault that should not stop the thought.

 I bore the shallow.
I am bored by the shallow.
I think not of those that think not.
Those that think not think not of me.
I don’t think the thought of those that think not.
As those that think not think not the thought that I taught.

 That I ought not think. I thought I taught the thought that I thought ought not be taught.
Instead, I sought the thought that ought not be taught to think not.
My soul is slaught to think the thought that ought not be sought.
I did not fought the lot that sought
I did not sought the lot that fought.
And to the lot that ought not be sought
The thought that ought not be taught
I fault the salt that not the basalt
The gault that halts the thoughts
Of the waltz that stalls the faults of the plots
Not that I sought the plot of the not
But, I ought to hope not to the fault of the ought not
That I ought not hope to the fault that should not stop the thought.

 I bore the shallow.
I am bored by the shallow.
I think not of those that think not.
Those that think not think not of me.
I don’t think the thought of those that think not.
As those that think not think not the thought that I taught.

 The shallow are easy to please.
I am not easy to please.
The shallow easily fall prey to gimmicks.
Gimmicks fall before me on their knees.
Think, what I think, and don’t fall for tricks
 The thought that ought not be taught.

Everyone Has Something to Say

Everyone Has Something to Say
Written by Donovan L. Green,
Thursday, January 12, 2009

 I don’t have any shortage of things to point at to say this is the problem with our civilization these days. It seems as though not many things do not bother me about the way we do things. I chase myself in circles over this stuff too it seems. Like, is it people’s greed, or is it a natural manifestation of nature to be greedy and there is nothing anyone can do otherwise, for example. I have thoughts and opinions on it all and sometimes I write some of them down, like this writing for instance. I’ll read it later though and think how stupid I am.

 Sometimes, I may not even make it as far as writing it down. Sometimes I shoot it down as the thoughts are going through my head. So, you think that’s a copout, perhaps taking the easy road, not worrying about anything. Well if you made it this far, check this out.

 One of the problems with our current culture, the electronic culture is that everyone is talking, and no one is listening. Everyone has something to say it seems, even if it is just crap. And everyone thinks what they say is important and that everyone should listen to them. We’re emailing, chatting, texting, blogging, portable phones that never leave the ear. Everyone, including myself has their own website, blog, email, and phone where they can tell the world their opinions, just like I do.

 We are a tremendously noisy society. If you think about it, everyone is constantly making noise of some kind. If they are not talking, which is rare these days, they have televisions blaring, radios cranked, mp3 players shooting noise straight into their brains. Drive to work some morning with your radio off and your windows down (I have neither radio nor air conditioning). You will hear all the other radios. You will hear all the important stuff, news, music, talk radio shows, sports, etc. etc. etc. blaring from people’s cars. They will turn on the radio when they get to work and then they will start talking only to break occasionally. Then they will get back in their cars, turn on the radio until they get home at which time they will turn on their televisions and talk until they go to sleep.

 Every individual has something to say. Maybe they say it to their coworkers, or their friends at their favorite hangout, or on the phone. Then a handful of people all are talking about the same thing at the same time and so they form a group so that each individual as well as the group can all make noise together. Then several or more groups join together. All their members are all talking. The groups are making noise. And the more groups that join in, or the bigger the group becomes the more ways they have to make more noise.

 I aspired for a long time to write a book. I still do to some degree. Have you noticed that it seems as though everyone is writing books these days? It is another way for people to say something, to make noise. Yes, a book is simply more noise at this point. Every politician, every televangelist, everyone is writing a book these days. Some guy murders everyone in his neighborhood and the smartest thing he can do after that is write a book.

 One thing is making more noise than any other thing these days, advertising. Good grief it seems there is no limit to advertising. A year ago, I was watching an Indy car race (for ten minutes). Lining every square inch of the sides of track were advertisements. It was all digital. The cars themselves have hundreds of advertisements on them. Have you watch a professional football game lately? They don’t have half time anymore. They have the Built Ford Tough half time show brought to you by the all new Ford. Drive the all new Ford and you’ll see why everyone is talking about the all new Ford- Ford, Built Ford Tough. And during the Built Ford Tough half time show is the Fed-Ex Express Play of the Game; Fed-Ex your worldwide shipping experts. There are more minutes of beer commercials than minutes of football.

 It’s not just professional football either. It is everything. Even PBS has commercials now. So not only do you have to go through the bi-monthly fundraisers, and Jerry Lewis, but there are sponsorship commercials at the beginning and end of each show. And clothing. In people’s bid to, “express” themselves (just more noise), they have become walking billboards. Some of them are as big as billboards. They should be charging these companies prime advertising dollars. It baffles me why someone intentionally wears advertising for big corporations, such as Pepsi, Nike, Budweiser, and all the sports teams, and the list would fill a book. But that is only half the story. Not only are they walking billboards, but the walking billboards pay these corporations for the opportunity to provide this service. What the hell. I was telling someone recently that I saw a woman wearing what appeared to be a leather jacket that looked like a race car cluttered with sponsorships and her favorite driver’s car number. I was informed that jacket cost over three hundred dollars plus. And the more popular the driver, the more people pay for their stuff. This seems really backwards to me. That driver, along with all of his sponsors would need to be paying me on a continuous basis to walk around in that advertising garb.

 Here’s one that will surely put me in front of the squad. Art! That’s right, I said art. It’s just more noise. I’ve called myself an artist on occasion. I still “do” what is plausibly considered, art. But these days, art is just more noise. Perhaps, hundreds of years ago when everyone was concerned about their next meal and only one guy in town was playing around with mediums and perspectives were there art, but today, please. What can be drawn that hasn’t been draw hundreds or even thousands of times? Think you can shoot something up with a shotgun and call it art, sorry, someone has already beat you to that one. Maybe if you got naked and swam around in a vat of paint and then climbed out and rolled around on a giant canvass? Nope, old news. Have you ever seen in Italy, 80 students sitting on the steps drawing a famous something or another? It happens every semester.

 If you thought there wasn’t enough noise beaming out from the planet, there is hundreds of compact discs available with sounds of nature. The wind, the rain, the ocean, pine forest, birds, rain storms, mountain streams, water falls, a “quiet” meadow, the beach, windswept snow drifts on the plains, humpback whales humping, good grief! I even have a set of six cd’s that is the hundreds of hours of strange sounds that one of the Voyager spacecraft made as it drifted out of the solar system.

 So, with the endless noise, the countless books, millions of different media for people to “express” themselves, to allow people to be “heard”, what encouragement should I have to write a book? If my opinion is that everyone is talking too much, and no one is listening, then what would be the right decision to make? To add to the noise and the problem, or, practice what must be the solution?

 I have recently begun to refer to our country, the u. s. of a., as a country of kings. And it seems as though each king is an expert. The country of kings believes that this is a free country. So, what you end up with is a lot of idiocy. Be careful when you go buy a book on a subject. There is no stipulation that a book should make sense these days. All that is a needed is a disclaimer saying that results may vary. Oh, but wait, that is standard. It is also my opinion that we are a country of educated idiots. This becomes evident with all the noise people make.

 If you haven’t noticed how many books there are on the market that should have never been published, maybe you have noticed how much garbage there is to watch on television. I’m not talking about your personal opinion of what is moral or Christian. It shouldn’t matter what your morals or religion is, is there really a market for cannibal zombies running loose in a maximum-security prison? Evidently, I read that as a description of a movie a few nights ago. It encouraged me to try to publish whatever it was that I could think of. On the other hand, what is the challenge of that? Surely, I had something better to say than that. There are probably more than 500 hundred titles out there with the phrase “washed up cop” in it. How about, “An FBI Agent”. I just don’t understand the point.

 I don’t know, for most people seeing how much garbage is out there is simply encouraging, but for me, well it’s a different story. Maybe if I was driven by money and greed I would do it for that. I wouldn’t care if anyone gained any “good” knowledge from me or not. Only that my bank account gained from their ignorance. Unfortunately, I don’t care how much money I could make off of someone’s ignorance, I only care that what I have to say is accurate.