They Are Out There

They Are Out There
Written by Donovan L. Green,
12/27/2008 1:12 AM

They are out there, outside, all around us. You have your doubts, but you are in here with me. You are standing right next to me trying to place doubt in my mind about something that I know to be true, and you are afraid of. You are scared to death of. You hope, you wish, that I am wrong. You pray with all your might that your doubts are correct and that they are not out there, but deep down inside, down in that place that you cannot reach, that place which speaks to you about truth when the world is quiet, you hear the voice telling you that they are out there.

We stand next to each other in a pitch black room looking out through a small opening into the cold pitch black stillness. We cannot see a thing either inside or out, but we both know that they are out there, waiting. We can almost feel the static electricity on each other’s arms yet we cannot see each other. We hear each other’s breathing, if there was a shred of light we would see the warmth in our breath leave our bodies and fall stagnant in the chill of the night air.

Neither one of us dare to speak a word. Not a cricket, whippoorwill, or man made object can be heard. The quietness is so intense it is as if nothing really exists. Nothing but us, our bodies trying to operate as quietly as possible, even our breathing is too loud. Occasionally we each gently touch our faces to the window to try to gather a spatial relational ship with where we are. Occasionally our arms brush each other’s just to reassure that we are not alone.

We don’t dare to make a sound for being heard by them. Even if they are not actually out there, it is far better to suffer in this cold dark silence than to risk being heard. Every sound is amplified, magnified to a far greater loudness than ever experienced before. They are out there and we do not dare get caught. They are out there whether we want to believe it or not. And even if we do not want to believe it, deep down, we know, we know without a shadow of doubt.

They are more quiet than quiet. They can see without light. They can smell, oh no, a new fear creeps in. no matter how dark it is, no matter how quiet we are, they know we are here because they can smell us. We can strain our eyes to see through darkness as thick as six feet of earth. We can force our lungs to move in slow motion so our breathing makes no noise. But, how do we hide our smell? We can’t see them. We can’t hear them. We only know deep down that they are our there. But they can see us. They can hear our rapid breathing. They can smell the fear escaping from our pores.

Is there any escape from this madness? Is there anything we can do to save ourselves? Maybe if the sun would return and recreate our world as we knew it before. If particles of light would bounce off of the things we knew was there in front of us. For a moment there is a glimmer of hope for us. I wonder what you are thinking about. Are you being brave? Are you about to crack and scream? Are you wondering what I am thinking right now?

I wonder if we are ever going to be out of this situation. Will they ever leave, or will they outlast us. I lean forward ever so slowly until I can feel the warmth of my breath being reflected off of the glass window back onto my face. It is so dark that at times I begin to wonder if there is a floor under my feet.

Suddenly I awake and see my breath frozen on the window in front of me. I am startled to be alive and I wonder if they are still here, or whether they left when light began to overtake the darkness. I wonder if I was alone the night through. Were you ever here at all or was I by myself all along? I can see the trees again, the grass and the sky. Were they really out there at all, or was it all just my imagination? I feel safe again. The world does exist and I am not in an infinite void of total darkness after all.

I should bring in some firewood and stoke up the fire again. It will be nice to hear the crackle of burning wood in the fireplace. It will be nice to feel the warmth surrounding me again. I still can’t help but wonder though, were you ever here at all, in the cold still darkness, or was I all alone. And what about them, what happened to them? I know they were out there. They were there, waiting for me to make a noise. They were waiting for me to give away my position. They were there, in the cold still darkness, waiting, waiting for us. Or were they just waiting for me all along?

Author: d

i have had a couple of close friends short term, but otherwise i have spent my whole life alone. My parents distanced themselves from me but not my siblings. Loneliness happens when we are not acceptable for who we are. Not being accepted is a thick heavy shroud that is impossible to lift without being accepted. i have come close to giving up a few times but somehow i fight on for the hope that someday i will meet others, like me, and they will accept me like i accept them. littlegreenthing.com has been many things, but now it is another attempt to connect with others that feel the same weight that i do.

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