Three Phases of Enduring

Three Phases of Enduring
Written by Donovan L. Green
7/24/2018 8:20 PM

There are extreme low points. Loneliness and darkness that seems to never end. Extended periods of hopelessness, helplessness, uselessness, and worthlessness. Then there are the high points. All life is my friend. My life is bright and beautiful. Extended periods of super energy, invincibility, confidence to do anything and feeling valuable and indispensable. Then a brief period of fair normalcy. Neither here nor there. Extended periods of bland rationalism, conservativeness, with little adventure. Everything is fine chugging along with everyone else striving to get a little better off. This third phase is a rest period. Relaxing and resting before the toughest most difficult life returns, the low point. I survive the low point by staying focused on what comes next, the euphoric invincibility of super human strength and endurance with no doubts of living forever.

Why not enjoy the moment? What’s wrong with feeling on top of the world? After what was just endured this is greatly deserved. It’s the brief period when I can smile and have hope to meet people and maybe even make a friend. For a brief period my life is packed with activity and I dream of all of the things I can do, leaping from one thing to the next back and forth and around and around. Summer is an exciting time and when I feel like this. I am filled with hope and joy approaching everything confidently with optimism that nothing can go wrong and, like the rest of the time, nothing does go wrong. And, I don’t get really good at doing anything in particular, I never meet new people or make any friends. But so what, it doesn’t matter because I feel great. Well, the most awesome thing in all of the universe would be sharing all my enthusiasm and love with. Maybe then the low point wouldn’t be so low anymore.

Author: d

i have had a couple of close friends short term, but otherwise i have spent my whole life alone. My parents distanced themselves from me but not my siblings. Loneliness happens when we are not acceptable for who we are. Not being accepted is a thick heavy shroud that is impossible to lift without being accepted. i have come close to giving up a few times but somehow i fight on for the hope that someday i will meet others, like me, and they will accept me like i accept them. has been many things, but now it is another attempt to connect with others that feel the same weight that i do.

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